The Rainbow Mouth that Ate Us
by closeyourmouthkristenstewart
Summary: What happens when two seriously messed up Phantom obsessed teenagers fall through a TV with a mysterious rainbow mouth? This. And its not pretty, either. Christine and Raoul bashing! One-shot!


Maddie POV

I just want to say that Emily and I were never normal. From our unexplainable spasms to our senseless inside jokes, we just never even _wanted_ to be normal. I mean, seriously, who wants to sit around and be still and calm all day? Pshh. Not us.

But once, we took it a bit far.

We were jamming out to Slipknot music, headbanging, air guitar, the whole bit. Our really old TV has this odd thing it does when we don't have it on. There's this rainbow colored mouth-looking thing that pops up, looking like a mute person that wants to talk to you. It's scary.

So anyway, Emily and I were getting our groove on, and the mouth was silently blabbing away.

"Hey Maddie, can we turn the TV on? It's really creeping me out, man!"

"Sure, but we HAVE to put on Phantom of the Opera. Or I might die," I insisted.

"Heck yes! It'll look like the characters are singing Slipknot!" She nearly crapped her pants with excitement.

"OH, YES!" I screamed back while putting in the awesomest DVD ever.

So, we continued our headbanging and we added in drooling over Gerard Butler. While Christine was all whored up on stage, with her sparkles and ickyness, singing "Think of Me," Emily headbanged a little too close to the TV, bashing her head through the screen.

"Hmm, that kind of hurt a little bit," she commented, her head inside the television. "Christine, Christine, CHRISTINE YOU SUCK!" she sang along with the still playing movie, adding her own twist to the lyrics. It looked really odd because the movie was just continuing, but with a teenager's butt in the middle of it.

"Huh, that's funny," she said. "I don't remember the inside of my TV looking like the inside of an opera house."

"Oh it does? I thought it would look like a chocolate factory filled with jello," I replied nonchalantly. "You know, I think I'm going to unplug the TV so you don't like, die or something like that." So I did.

Suddenly, the creepy rainbow mouth appeared on the screen, looking like it was eating Emily. It looked funny. I laughed until I realized that she was falling through the screen. With a flash of light, she was gone.

"NOOOOO!" I screamed, falling to my knees. Then, I felt the worst pain in my right knee ever known to men and goblins. I looked down to see the Burger King toy that Emily and I had microwaved a few hours ago that smelled like burning turds lodged into my knee. Pulling it out, I fell headfirst into the TV.

I landed with a painful thud in the balcony of a slightly familiar opera house. I got up and looked around, searching for Emily. "Hey Emily?" I called.

"Yeah?"

"Are you there?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, okay," I said, realizing that she was right next to me.

"Where are we?" she wondered.

"I don't know, but it seems freakishly familiar." Just then, I noticed a woman in a poofy white dress with sparkly doo-dads in her hair. I gasped dramatically and Emily did too.

"Wait, why are we gasping?" she asked.

"Emily," I said, grabbing her by the shoulders. "We are in The Phantom of the Opera!" I squealed.

She dramatically gasped again. "Oh wait, I already did that."

"So what should we do now? Watching Christine is making me nauseous."

Emily looked at me with a glint in her eye. "I have a plan."

Emily POV

Within minutes we had made it backstage at the opera house. Maddie and I had somehow made it by unseen, even though we were singing "The Point of No Return" the whole time while riding imaginary elephants. As soon as we were backstage, Maddie looked at me, finally understanding what was about to happen.

"Are we going to…?" she began to ask.

"Yep!" I replied. "Now, lets do some materializing!" We snapped our fingers at the same time and in a split-second, a bunch of confused band guys, a drumset, and a Gibson guitar appeared in front of us. Quickly briefing the strangers, we instructed them on what to do.

"Alright," I told Maddie. "On the count of three, we slide in on our knees and start the show, okay?"

At first I wasn't sure if Maddie was paying attention or not, because she was licking her toe repeatedly, but she finally nodded and straightened up.

"Ready, one, two, twenty-four!" With that, we slid out onto the stage and pushed Christine off with all of the strength we had. She landed in the arms of an extremely handsome man, who happened to be the phantom. I was on the verge of screaming and running at him, but Maddie gave me a roundhouse kick to the face to straighten me out.

Maddie and I materialized microphones behind our backs and turned them on.

"Sorry for the interruption, folks!" I said in a peppy voice.

"Yeah, but we are here to give you an ultimate, epic, amazing show that will knock your bloomers clean off!" Maddie added.

The audience gasped and began to murmur. And with that, we signaled to our band and jammed to a lovely song called Down with the Sickness.

While off in our hardcore world of fun, I observed a delightful scene. Phantom finally got a good look at Christine after years of watching from afar and noticed she has an unsightly mole. He stared at her with remorse, and Christine clutched him like he was her true love. Raoul saw Christine's sign of affection and, in anger and with a flash of Tourette syndrome, he screamed out "PISS!"

Phantom ran to Raoul, throwing Christine about ten feet into the air to him. She flailed and wailed, and landed with a thud in front of a stunned Raoul.

Maddie and I were just ending our first song and beginning Psychosocial when sexy Gerard ran up onstage, joining us and headbanging. Lemme tell ya, he is a shmexy guy. And you may have none of him, because after the song, he proposed a solution to his lover being ugly.

"Would you two young ladies be able to share me? I would positively _love_ to go to dinner sometime," he suggested with a wink behind his mask.

Maddie and I looked at each other, suppressing our squeals, and nodded.

"I speak for both of us when I say YES!" Maddie yelled.

"Great, and I really love Asian food!" he commented, summoning his rare whale with the wings of a chicken, which crashed through the large windows. "Hop on, girls, we're off to PF Chang's!"


End file.
